Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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