Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
