real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize