She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
