Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize