he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
