What a fucking waste of an outfit
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
