Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
should my penis look like a turkey
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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