idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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