if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
