just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
