I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
