they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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