I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
