I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
