Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize