I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
