she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
