So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
