Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
