I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize