I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize