and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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