I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
