I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
