sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
