So drunk, too bad you don't want this
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
