I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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