eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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