so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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