so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
