They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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