Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
