erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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