please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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