I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
