dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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