is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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