Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
