i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Boobs speak an international language.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
