she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
