This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it's like iHOP with fire
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
