Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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