I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
