So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Randomize
