While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
