Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
