Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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