Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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