Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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