Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Someone shattered a urinal.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
