just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
