Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
