Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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