he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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