Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
