I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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