i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize