Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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