My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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