My nipple is on Facebook.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
