Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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