yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
