sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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