she looked like the bat from fern gully.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
