Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize