hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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