Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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