so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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