Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
