It's Friday. Sex?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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